Looking back at the academic year 2022 – 2023.

Last year was a challenging one for me. Looking at last academic year in conjunction with the previous two years, it was the culmination of the Covid Era. For three years I had internalized things, kept a “stiff upper lip,” and pressed on. But, all that stress and pressure builds up and has to go somewhere.  I was absolutely ready to quit teaching and attempt to move on. I’m glad that I didn’t.

This year I have fallen back in love with the vocation of teaching. Anxiety and depression – although not eliminated – have been greatly managed. Comparing how I was at this time last year, it is a noticeable difference. As the Sorcerer Supreme says in the movie, Dr. Strange, “We never lose our demons. We only learn to live above them.” I have accepted that the demons of anxiety and depression are not going away. They are a part of me. So, the better thing to do is for me to learn to live with them.

There are some things that I can identify as having played a significant role in my psychological health:

Travel
I traveled more this past year than I usually do. I cannot express how important traveling was for me. They were not long or expensive trips to visit other countries. These were mostly close to home.
In September we spent a weekend in Portsmouth, New Hampshire to see the comedian and voice of Gene in “Bob’s Burgers,” Eugene Merman.
In October we did an overnight in Boston to see the incomparable Brandi Carlile at the Garden. 
In November we had a delightful Thanksgiving Week at Disney’s Polynesian Resort for Eric’s birthday, finally getting a reservation at Victoria and Albert’s!
In December, I surprised my mom and nieces by showing up to vacation with them at Universal’s Cabana Bay Beach Resort at Universal Studios Orlando.
In February, Eric and I stayed for school vacation week at Loews Royal Pacific at Universal Studios Orlando Resort. 
And in May, we spent Mother’s Day weekend in Ogunquit, ME with friends. 

Traveling, and having trips to look forward to, has a wonderful way of lifting my spirits.

Journaling

I have made it a point to journal regularly; in an old-school, paper bound journal and a pen. This practice started out as part of a work out journal in which I would record my gym visits and write down what I did and how I felt. It quickly transitioned into a full scale journal in which I happened to also record workouts. I would sit in the car and journal before or after a gym visit. Journaling while sitting in the car has a wonderful way of allowing me to focus and think without other distractions. 
Although I admit that I do not journal every day (nor do I work out every day) I can notice how good it is for me and was an important tool for keeping me sane throughout the year. I also think that writing by hand (not typing) has a different – and positive – psychological affect.

Keeping a Calendar and Class Journal

Second semester of last year (2022) I took on a sixth class. Although there was only one prep, it was a significant increase in workload and definitely added to my stress. One of the ways I tried to manage it was to keep a binder with detailed accounts of each class: seeing what I had done with each class – and when I did it. It was immensely helpful. 
Noticing how much this practice helped me, I have continued the practice, while tweaking it a bit to work better for me this year.
I also added an traditional monthly calendar to the same binder so that I can have a detailed account of what I should be ready for on –  and off  – campus for any given day. Just knowing what is expected of me – concretely – has relieved a lot of stress and helped me adapt to situations. 

D & D

Near the end of “the Great Unpleasantness” I joined a group of friends utilizing Zoom to play D&D. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work, or if I would even like it. It turned out to be something that we all looked forward to. It was a little escape from the mundane while also getting to interact with friends regularly.
I had no idea what a positive impact this would have. 
I have kept this practice up, and I credit it with helping me create a better work-life balance. 

Having friend(s) over once a week

Every Thursday – consistently – has been dedicated to having our friend Chuck over for dinner. It brings a third voice into dinner conversation and creates an evening that we all look forward to. Talking, laughing, sharing stories of the week and thoughts about the future, watching movies or television together is a nice break during the work week that I always look forward to, and miss when we can’t do it.

Finding the right medicine 

They say that laughter is the best medicine. But, honestly, I find that medicine is the medicine. In addition to therapy, finding the right medicine is often a matter of trial and error. Last year was the trial and error period for me – again, it was a rough year.  Having landed on just the right medicine at just the right dose has – of course – been a lifesaver. 

I didn’t think that I had done anything different this year. But, reflecting back on it, and trying to analyze why I feel so differently at the end of this academic year as compared to last year, I actually have been incorporating some pretty significant things that have had profound results.

Having identified these things, I can now start to think about other practices that I can “fold in” to my experience to keep moving forward to a better, healthier me. The one thing that seems pretty obvious is to start a habit of working out. I have wanted this to happen for awhile. I have talked about it a lot. But, I am realizing that I was focusing on the wrong things. Now is the right time to look back and reflect on what life has been like and the strategies I have developed to manage it. I can affirm these things, and then move forward.